String Someone Along This Valentine's Day

My young life was filled with whimsical experiences thanks to the fact that I had loving parents who were both creative and playful. One birthday morning, when I was still in grade school, I awoke to find an envelope at the foot of my bed attached to a string. My eyes followed that string as it dropped to the floor and wound around the leg of a small table before its path continued out of my room. My parents arrived, just in time, to sing "Happy Birthday" and help me read the card which informed me that a present could be found at the end of the string. Following that string probably took me less than a minute and yet that birthday memory still feels magical after all these years.

Curious about what rekindled that memory? It was a letter that I received several weeks ago from the daughter of a dear friend... a kindergartner and neighbor when we first met...now an adult with her own teen-aged daughters. In her letter she was reminiscing about the childhood fun we'd had being neighbors and recalled one of her favorite birthday memories where she found a note at the bottom of her bed attached to a string. She'd delighted in following that string as it wound  through her house - out her front door - around some bushes and across the yard - ending at the front porch of the house where my mom and I lived. We were waiting with a present.  I guess you might say that we decided it was an idea that deserved an encore.

Looking for a new and unusual way to celebrate Valentine's Day, this year?  Let a string lead that special someone to a menu borrowed from a favorite restaurant where reservations are waiting. Or, have the string lead to the refrigerator where a favorite dessert just asks to be shared. After all, sometimes it's the smallest idea that leads to the biggest memory.  Happy Valentine's Day!

Mrs. S

 This week's writing included three letters sent to former students. Remaining in touch with some of my students and their families has been one of the unexpected joys of my teaching career. Today, I am re posting an article I originally wrote in September 2011. 

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Every year at this time, as the kids go back to school, I can’t help but reflect on my own years as a student and then as an elementary classroom teacher. This year, my third grade teacher, Mrs. S, has been in my thoughts not only for who she was but for the part she played in developing my beliefs about the role of a teacher.

Third grade could have been a difficult year for me. We were an Air Force family and we had recently moved from Ramstein, Germany back to the states. I had been in an elementary school, on the base in Europe, where a new student was somewhat of a regular occurrence. That was not the case in the public school in Forestville, Maryland. I was a bit shy and Mrs. S. made sure that the transition was as painless as possible. It’s ironic I actually don’t remember much about her except that she had grayish blond hair, was pregnant, and put her arm around my shoulders…often.

Many years later, during one of those reflecting back discussions with my mom, the topic of school and my third grade year came up. I was shocked to find out that my mom and dad initially had reservations about Mrs. S. I can’t remember exactly what my parents’ concerns were but it had something to do with her academic goals for the year or her professionalism. But my mother was very clear about the reason that they kept me in the class. “You needed a safe, loving environment. We had just upset your little world with a big move and it was most important to us that you went to school each day feeling happy and secure. Mrs. S did that for you.”

My college days, that were spent preparing for a teaching career, were filled with courses and lessons on learning theories, best teaching practices, and the gentle nature of the young child’s psyche. Those topics were repeatedly addressed over the course of my time in the classroom. But as the years progressed, we talked more and more about test scores and the importance of students being able to compete in a global economy. Ahhh…that global economy. I have read several articles, over the years, that state there is a characteristic among American entrepreneurs that makes them unique. That characteristic is their willingness to fail and then try again. Our culture does not really view failure as failing unless one gives up trying.

If one of our strengths, as a nation, comes from our people who are not afraid of failure, then we need to start when students are young, encouraging them to be all that they can be, to take risks knowing they have the safety net of caring teachers for support. It goes without saying that we need to have classrooms that provide students with academic opportunities but we also need to provide some emotional support as well. Adults, in our schools, need to “put their arms around the shoulders” of their students whether it’s in protecting them from bullies, encouraging them to believe in themselves, or just giving support during life’s scary times.

I sincerely hope that as our nation struggles to improve an educational system, that seems to be failing so many, we don’t underestimate the value of demonstrating tenderness. I had a teacher who exhibited compassion towards me, over 40 years ago, and I never forgot it. It made a difference then. It can make a difference now.

The Details that Define Us

My mother did her letter writing first thing in the morning, before my father or I stirred. It was during those peaceful, unhurried moments, that she put her loving thoughts into countless notes and letters. Surrounded by her writing paraphernalia and her cup of coffee, it was her way of visiting with those friends, who meant so much to her.

Her writing paraphernalia? Along with the predictable stationery and note cards, there were address books, books for recording special occasions, a datebook for recording the letters written each day and a no-nonsense pen.



My mom recorded the dates of many special occasions in The Booklover's Birthday Book.

She kept track of written letters in a small calendar.

The rest of the paraphernalia had to do with adorning the envelope and didn't become a regular part of her letter writing until much later in her life. She purchased return address labels to coordinate with the months and began ordering stamps by mail... delighting in the fact that she now had more variety even in her stamp options.

Now that I am a follower of letter-writing blogs, I receive all kinds of updates about the USPS. I braved the lines at the post office, on Saturday, so I could own a sheet of the newest limited edition forever stamp.



Image courtesy of the USPS

 As I was driving home, I couldn't help but think of my mom. I knew that if she was still alive, I would have gone for a visit, just to share my stamps. Would she have chosen to use them, this month, to align with the writing of the Emancipation Proclamation, or have tucked them away until Abraham Lincoln's birthday, in February? It's hard to tell.

 

My mother always said that each day had the potential of being a special occasion. To save the fine china and the newly blossomed flowers, for something more, was a mistake. Today is here and today is an occasion worth celebrating.

 

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End of Week 2 and still writing.                                                                           

Emancipation Proclamation (Forever)

Emancipation Proclamation (Forever)

Lead with my Heart...Follow with the Pen

The first week, in my new letter writing adventure, began with a couple of birthday letters. Easy enough. Then I turned to my basket of Christmas cards, filled with newsy notes, received during the holiday season. It felt good to respond to those notes, acknowledging all that had happened throughout the previous year.

When I first started planning my writing goal, I had all sorts of questions that needed to be answered. If I wrote a letter a day, would that include week-ends? Would it count if I wrote to people other than friends and family? Since I didn't have 365 people in my address book, could I write to someone more than once?  How would I determine who I would write to each day?  

After answering the other questions, I have decided that I don't want a methodical plan for determining who will receive my next letter. I know that special dates and situations will dictate when some letters are sent and who will receive them. If I am really trying to write from my heart, I suspect that too much analyzing and too much of a system might be counterintuitive. If I really want to try and compose a letter that might nurture as well as communicate, I need to just trust my feelings and let my heart take the lead.

Sir, more than kisses,

letters mingle souls;

For, thus

friends, absent speak.

 

   John Donne 1598



                                                                             





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