The Determined....The Brave....The 60%

Every year, almost 200 million Americans (yep, that's 60% of us) create New Year's Resolutions but only 6 million actually see those resolutions come to fruition. A practice with a dismal success rate and yet it prevails! How else, but determined and brave, can I describe  resolution-setters? Yeah...I hear some of your suggestions.... but I'm sticking with my adjectives because I'm in that group choosing to  follow a ritual that supposedly has its roots in pre-Christian days. I write New Year's resolutions every year.

Last year, I wrote a very special resolution. Having a little shop and a blog named for my mom, who wrote a letter a day for over 50 years,  I thought I would take up that habit, myself, for just a year. As a child, I had watched with curiosity as my mother carried out her beloved letter writing ritual. She used to tell stories of how I would climb up in the chair next to her, ask for a piece of paper and pencil, then proceed to write rows of the curly scribbles classic for most preschoolers. As I got older, I delighted in watching her carefully choose the card or stationary that would carry her words of friendship and love. Always awed at the magnitude of her compassion and empathy, I would listen as she explained why she felt compelled to send this or that card. "This one is for Mary" she would say, "Mary lost her husband over a year ago. Most people will have stopped sending cards by now but I bet she could still use some encouragement." Over the years, I heard so many people express their appreciation for my mother's faithful notes of love, caring and encouragement.  For some, those notes were monumental is helping them through rough times in their lives.

I don't think it's surprising that I  decided to try and follow in my mother's letter writing footsteps. After all, I'd seen that practice modeled for my entire life, seen how it had touched people's lives, and I typically sent cards of celebration or condolences to my friends anyway. What is surprising is that I was so clueless about what a massive task I was undertaking. By February, I was already eight cards behind. I'd get caught up only to fall behind again.  If there were no calendared dates to celebrate, I would need to search my head for events I knew my friends were engaged in. "Are you enjoying your promotion?"  "How's yoga class progressing?"  I actually loved trying to remember special events going on in friends' lives but there were times when it felt a bit contrived. "Please, doesn't somebody need a card?  I need to send 10 by tomorrow!!!"  Still I persevered.

At the end of 2013, I was not able to say that I had seen my resolution to perfect completion. But regardless of my struggles and stumbles along the way, I still learned a lot about myself and the art of letter writing. Even more significant (for me) were the valuable truths it reinforced:

• Failure is relative... I wrote a total of 205 letters...56% of my goal. Reminding 205 friends that they matter to my life can't be considered a failure regardless of what the numbers say.
• Things that matter the most need to be a priority...Seems like a no-brainer but when I started writing in January, I told myself that I'd easily find 30 minutes  a day to write a letter. I rarely found that half-hour until I scheduled it into my daily routine.
• Never Never Give Up... Even though I'd already fallen behind by the end of January, I didn't give up.  There aren't many things that are as important to me as celebrating friendships and honoring my mother's letter writing legacy so I just kept forging ahead. I'm going to continue writing in 2014.

Some of us choose to write resolutions or goals and others do not. But each of us, in our own way, attempts to fill our days with pursuits that bring us pride and joy and remind us of the things that we value the most, in our lives. It's been said that genuine success originates in the heart. I believe that's  true.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    




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A Mickeyism for January

Of the one hundred and fifty million resolutions that fail every year, one-third of them have been broken and abandoned by the end of January. A discouraging fact if it's December and you are just giving consideration to your New Year's resolution and clearly not much encouragement, if it's closing in on January 31, and your will power is waning.

I've had an amazing experience, so far, attempting to write a letter a day but it hasn't always been an easy journey. Yes, there have been days when I've had plenty of time to write and the words came easy. Other days, I have torn up completed letters because the writing felt forced and days when I just couldn't find the time to write. Although  abandoning the resolution has never been an option for me, I have definitely felt the frustration of encountering set backs. Words of wisdom, spoken by my mother decades ago, have kept me going.

My mother was a list-maker extraordinaire. She kept lists of books she wanted to read, topics she wanted to explore, corners of the house she wanted to clean... the list of her lists goes on and on. Her daily activities were guided by a To Do List which she lovingly wrote each morning and joyfully attempted to eradicate during the day. I sensed its importance from the time I was old enough to climb up in the chair, next to her, and watch her write. One day, curious as to what kind of punishment she must certainly impose if she didn't complete that all important list, I asked her what happened in those cases. "Nothing", she replied with a smile, "you can never be a slave to your lists."

Courtesy of Google Images

                                                          
As I see it, a resolution and a to-do list are similar. They both identify behaviors we're sure will improve the quality of our lives and failing to follow through brings disappointment. My mother just reasoned that persistence would be more effective than punishment. No nagging, negative self-talk for her. She'd simply pick up where she left off and carry on.

 The letter writing has already brought me immeasurable joy. Now, at the end of the week, I'm going to focus on the joy I have gotten in composing those letters and ignore the nagging reminders, in my head, of the letters that I still need to write. Cheering about the (slightly less) than 31 letters I have completed is definitely easier than contemplating the 300+ I have yet to write.

By the way...that wise mom of mine never wrote resolutions...just lists.

The Details that Define Us

My mother did her letter writing first thing in the morning, before my father or I stirred. It was during those peaceful, unhurried moments, that she put her loving thoughts into countless notes and letters. Surrounded by her writing paraphernalia and her cup of coffee, it was her way of visiting with those friends, who meant so much to her.

Her writing paraphernalia? Along with the predictable stationery and note cards, there were address books, books for recording special occasions, a datebook for recording the letters written each day and a no-nonsense pen.



My mom recorded the dates of many special occasions in The Booklover's Birthday Book.

She kept track of written letters in a small calendar.

The rest of the paraphernalia had to do with adorning the envelope and didn't become a regular part of her letter writing until much later in her life. She purchased return address labels to coordinate with the months and began ordering stamps by mail... delighting in the fact that she now had more variety even in her stamp options.

Now that I am a follower of letter-writing blogs, I receive all kinds of updates about the USPS. I braved the lines at the post office, on Saturday, so I could own a sheet of the newest limited edition forever stamp.



Image courtesy of the USPS

 As I was driving home, I couldn't help but think of my mom. I knew that if she was still alive, I would have gone for a visit, just to share my stamps. Would she have chosen to use them, this month, to align with the writing of the Emancipation Proclamation, or have tucked them away until Abraham Lincoln's birthday, in February? It's hard to tell.

 

My mother always said that each day had the potential of being a special occasion. To save the fine china and the newly blossomed flowers, for something more, was a mistake. Today is here and today is an occasion worth celebrating.

 

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End of Week 2 and still writing.                                                                           

Emancipation Proclamation (Forever)

Emancipation Proclamation (Forever)

Lead with my Heart...Follow with the Pen

The first week, in my new letter writing adventure, began with a couple of birthday letters. Easy enough. Then I turned to my basket of Christmas cards, filled with newsy notes, received during the holiday season. It felt good to respond to those notes, acknowledging all that had happened throughout the previous year.

When I first started planning my writing goal, I had all sorts of questions that needed to be answered. If I wrote a letter a day, would that include week-ends? Would it count if I wrote to people other than friends and family? Since I didn't have 365 people in my address book, could I write to someone more than once?  How would I determine who I would write to each day?  

After answering the other questions, I have decided that I don't want a methodical plan for determining who will receive my next letter. I know that special dates and situations will dictate when some letters are sent and who will receive them. If I am really trying to write from my heart, I suspect that too much analyzing and too much of a system might be counterintuitive. If I really want to try and compose a letter that might nurture as well as communicate, I need to just trust my feelings and let my heart take the lead.

Sir, more than kisses,

letters mingle souls;

For, thus

friends, absent speak.

 

   John Donne 1598



                                                                             





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A Lesson from Grandpa

My mother cranked down the
window, in the back seat of the old car,
and casually tossed her gum
wrapper into the breeze.
Moments later, the car was being

 guided to the side of the road and
my mother directed to retrieve her trash.

 

"Oh Daddy," my mother whined,
 "it's just a little piece of paper."
 

"The countryside
will soon be filled with trash," my
grandfather warned, "if everyone
tosses  little pieces of paper
 out of the window."

It was the early 1930s. 
My mother was about six years old.

 

 My parents raised me much the way my mother's parents had raised her... a rare spanking, the occasional restriction, and what seemed like, endless lessons about  personal and social responsibility. It was never about other's opinions of my actions ....it was always about how my actions would affect them. There were times when a good spanking would have been easier.

 I guess it was only a matter of time before I began to contemplate the amount of paper my seemingly harmless letter writing resolution could generate. I wasn't about to abandon my resolution because of a concern over adding to the landfill, but I knew I needed to give this issue some thought.

My solution? A sweet, sentimental one that will, understandably, sound weird to some people.  If you knew my mom, you'd understand. Letter writing was such a regular part of my mom's life that she had drawers of stationary and note cards. I've saved a lot of them...tucked  into a box...stored away...thinking someday it would be easier to toss them out. I didn't think I'd ever write enough letters to use them up. Now, I just might.

Just one of my possible note card and stationery choices for January.

 

 

 

 

 







 



 








 

 

 

 

 



 



 



It's Official!

 

 

I am now a card carrying member of the Letter Writers Alliance.

 

 Even though I have not yet determined the specifics of my New Year's Letter Writing Resolution,  I  suspected that I may need some support to keep me motivated and writing throughout the entire year.  So, I have spent the last several weeks searching the Internet for articles, blogs, or web-sites that encourage letter writing and was amazed at what I found. 

 

Carla, began her blog, 365 Letters, in 2009 with a goal of writing a letter every day for a complete year. She met her goal and has continued to post about letter writing topics ever since.  I have joined the hundreds of others who follow her blog.

 

The Letter Writers Alliance is a "membership organization dedicated to keeping the art of letter writing alive." I quickly signed up and recently received my membership card and button. Then, I just couldn't resist ordering some stationary.

 

 

 

The stationary arrived in a traditional padded envelope but what a surprise awaited me inside!  I haven't even opened the package, yet, as I am still just enjoying the charm of this parcel with its cheerful lettering and intriguing stamps. 

 

 

 

 

 

These are just two examples of the numerous blogs and web-sites that I found that encourage letter writing. I haven't had time to research all of them but it is reassuring, for me, to know that I willl not be alone on this journey. Others' paths may vary a bit, from mine, but we are all dedicated to keeping the art of communicating through the hand written letter alive.